Those eyes… They touched me. They gave me grief.
Those tears… They moved me. They gave me bliss.

Look here, missy. “Un-friending” on Facebook is getting old. Can’t you think of anything more subtle? You’re just proving how much of a nitwit you are. What have I ever done to provoke such pathetic actions?

Phew. Gotta let all those out. Is it just me or are some people from my high school really daft? There’s a whole world out there. They shouldn’t let those immature relationships get the best of them. I do believe there’s a great person beneath that bitchy exterior they’ve put up. 

These past few days had me thinking of just how shallow life can be. I went to high school and worked my ass off to get into a good college. Now that I’m here, I’m striving yet again. For what? To get a good job? After getting a good job, what next? Work and work and work yet again until I retire from all this sh*t.

I wouldn’t want a life so dull as that. I wanna have something special—- one that would keep me going. I’m really running out of reasons right now. Is all this stressing worth it?

I wish I didn’t have to worry about things. I wish I could just go and about without caring about anything. I wish I could just breeze everything off and do what I really want without all the rules and norms.

Of course, all these are just my rants.. mere words.. ‘coz at the end of the day, I will have to do everything because those are what I have to do, lest I would have nothing. Some things I have to sacrifice for the things that are expected of me to do. I have to complicate life and choose the bumpy road because that’s what life should be about—- failures and agonies.

Now that I think about it, I haven’t been posting anything from my own personal thoughts for quite a long time. Is it just me or has college somewhat repressed me from expressing my mind? For the past few months, being with people whom I know are way more intellectual than I could ever be seemed to hinder me from being my usual opinionated self.

Or it could be my hidden hate for people who express their selves too much that they fail to notice how much of a vain person they come off. What happened? I even created a private blog just to make sure no one reads my posts. Knowing anybody could see my rants makes me feel a little vulnerable— like I’m naked or something. It feels like I’m exposing too much of myself for everyone to judge.

I’ve always had this trying-not-to-be-judged issues. Through the years, I’ve been careful not to show my full side to anyone. I know this sounds cliche, but the thought of anyone using these to know my weaknesses and faults encourages me to continue on building the walls I’ve conveniently built to protect myself. From what? I don’t know. I just keep on doing it with a reason I myself don’t fully understand.

I wanna let go of myself. But I can’t. This self is what has become of me.